If you have read the book "The Four Agreements" you are familiar with the advice: Never make assumptions. This is good advice but don't we all make assumptions anyway? It's as though, even from our limited perspective, we have the notion that we completely understand every facet of a situation, or that we can read someone's mind, after observing their actions.
Our assumptions give birth to our judgements ... judgements of other people, judgements about a situation. We judge because our brains want to assess, label and categorize. Our brain, as a function of evolutionary necessity, wants to place all events (and potential events) in the category of 'good' or 'bad' so we can react accordingly and ensure our survival.
The truth is that things are never as they seem. People are complicated. We can never truly know what is going on in a person's mind. We can only see others with our own narrow field of vision, our own perspective, which is influenced by our particular life experiences.
Most of what we see in others is our projection of ourselves onto that person. When someone really irritates us, it is usually an aspect of our own personality that we don't want to face.
The nice thing I've found about assumptions, especially negative ones, is that they're usually wrong. Usually, people don't have the evil intentions I imagined or the situation isn't as horrible as it seemed. In fact, I am constantly surprised by people ... so much so, that now, when I find myself creating imaginary scenes in my head where 'that person' is doing me wrong in some way I tell myself that 'that person' will probably prove me wrong. And they always do!
We can never fully see anything, but it is possible to become more aware of ourselves making assumptions? Can we call ourselves on our own assumption-making while we are in the midst of it? Can we become more open to letting things be and simply observing?
Can I set down my own arrogance and admit that I just don't really know anything? I like to think I know plenty, but I don't. If I set down my assumptions will I let in more pleasant surprises?
